GAH! What the heck, Randy Moss? Where are the rest of your ankles? They’re teensy. How do you play football so well with ankles that teensy? You’ve accumulated 954 receptions, 14,858, and 153 touchdowns over your 13-year NFL career, and are your generation’s greatest receiver. Yet you have the ankles of a tiny ballerina man. How do those ankles not disintegrate when you cut up the field? How do those ankles not disintegrate when you pour your cereal in the morning?
It is a miracle that you have ankles that petite. They are Wiz Khalifian in their petiteness. Yet you have had a Hall of Fame career in the National Football League. So, in a way, your pocket-sized ankles are an inspiration to young men who weren’t blessed with big ankles. What will you do about your tiny ankles? Nothing. Because you’re Randy Moss, and you don’t need big ankles to be Randy Moss.